I think I've done it.
Had another (evening-long) talk with a friend again. I don't know what to call her anymore, other than her name, obviously - so much has changed recently, at least to my way of perceiving.
I think she finally understands, though I won't bet on it. We have always misunderstood each other - one of the reasons I haven't thought there was anything more than a friendship between us.
I mean, I always hear "opposites attract". Perhaps in terms of diversification of the species, but people should get along, and be able to relate to each other. I think part of the skyrocketing incidence of divorce is that people "fall in love", never get past the initial attraction, and decide to marry. When they haven't really gotten to know each other, and spent time conversing & just hanging out, I guess, they don't really know if they're compatible - they can't really see if they are long-term compatible. *sigh* Maybe that's what the phrase means, the initial attraction. "Love at first sight", etc.
It makes me feel like a horrible person - to have someone want a relationship with me, and not be able to return the feeling. To think that all these years, she has probably been misreading my intentions. She must think I am worthless, while I think she has to be blind to have missed the meaning. Another saying comes to mind, though I wonder if it truly applies. I think when you meet that person, you both know, at least at some point. Guys are famous for jumping first - right?
Well, I will pray that the disagreements between us ended tonight. I like her as a friend, and we've known each other a long time. It would be a shame to lose her friendship.
On the other hand, if she continues to misunderstand & misread me, and if the jealousy does not cease, I think I shall have no choice but to distance myself - hopefully not totally disappear (though I sometimes wonder if that will become my only option).
While she rarely understood me, she has nearly always been there for me - when I had problems with my family, when I was "homeless", when pets have died, etc.
Well, I try my best, and attempt to place the rest in God's hands (and leave it there).
listening to...
Rilo Kiley - August
I think she finally understands, though I won't bet on it. We have always misunderstood each other - one of the reasons I haven't thought there was anything more than a friendship between us.
I mean, I always hear "opposites attract". Perhaps in terms of diversification of the species, but people should get along, and be able to relate to each other. I think part of the skyrocketing incidence of divorce is that people "fall in love", never get past the initial attraction, and decide to marry. When they haven't really gotten to know each other, and spent time conversing & just hanging out, I guess, they don't really know if they're compatible - they can't really see if they are long-term compatible. *sigh* Maybe that's what the phrase means, the initial attraction. "Love at first sight", etc.
It makes me feel like a horrible person - to have someone want a relationship with me, and not be able to return the feeling. To think that all these years, she has probably been misreading my intentions. She must think I am worthless, while I think she has to be blind to have missed the meaning. Another saying comes to mind, though I wonder if it truly applies. I think when you meet that person, you both know, at least at some point. Guys are famous for jumping first - right?
Well, I will pray that the disagreements between us ended tonight. I like her as a friend, and we've known each other a long time. It would be a shame to lose her friendship.
On the other hand, if she continues to misunderstand & misread me, and if the jealousy does not cease, I think I shall have no choice but to distance myself - hopefully not totally disappear (though I sometimes wonder if that will become my only option).
While she rarely understood me, she has nearly always been there for me - when I had problems with my family, when I was "homeless", when pets have died, etc.
Well, I try my best, and attempt to place the rest in God's hands (and leave it there).
listening to...
Rilo Kiley - August
posted by elye tirvare | 10:44 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home