On being alone

Been turning this over & over in my mind since reading another blog, so, to get it out of my head for a bit, here are my ponderings & conclusions...

It's been bothering me for the better part of a year now - my single status.
All around I hear of people dating, hooking up, getting married, being married - I don't think I know any single people, actually - and I am by myself.

For several years, I was perfectly fine with being alone, and dying alone. I occupied myself with work & pets, movies & music, and was content for the most part - probably because I've had possibilities prove to be misplaced priorities, false hopes, or... just not possible. I've grown up fairly isolated, so I've pretty much taken it for granted that I'd be alone anyway.

But the wishing has crept back from time to time and though God has kept teaching me to trust Him, I still wonder...
Am I seeing more of what He has for me, am I merely second-guessing Him, or am I just letting the doubt & longing get the better of me?

I WANT TO TRUST HIM, BUT IT'S FRUSTRATING SOMETIMES!!!

I've got my hopes set high - set on God having my best in mind.
Whether I end up with the perfect person for me,
or "alone" - relying on Him, I'm committed to following His plan as it's revealed to me.
Sure I get depressed. Even though I have God, friends, and family, "man was not meant to be alone" (I wonder if that applies to women?), and sometimes, I think it would be nice to have a special someone.
But, I do not, and when the longing passes, I realize God has a purpose, and perhaps, a lesson for me. He will show me more when the time is right - when I am ready.

I just hope it's sooner, rather than later...

listening to...

Rebecca St. James - God Help Me
downhere - Surrender
John Lennon - Real Love
Emi Fujita - Wishes & Moon River :D