Busy last few days, err, make that weeks!

I just started setting up an aquarium at a local nursing home. I stop there with my day job, and having noticed a goldfish aquarium, offered to give the woman taking care of it some tips (she was woefully uneducated, but appreciated my suggestions).
That was about a year and a half ago, and recently they had some parasitic/unclean tank issues, and asked for my help. I gave them some more advice, and finally they decided (since they were about to redecorate the sitting area in which the aquarium was located) to replace the inhabitants with freshwater tropical fish.

They asked me to take care of that for them, and tonight I had my mom drive me out there (since I am without a vehicle right now & the nursing home is about 8 miles (13km) from my house - waaaay to far to bike with all the supplies I needed to bring along!). I transferred the gravel from another nursing home's aquarium (they had wanted to switch from the freshwater tropical I maintained for them to a saltwater aquarium, but decided not to have an aquarium at all - their loss (more time for me to relax, aka watch movies/spend online ;) ).

I service that account three times a week with my delivery job, so it will be a simple matter to keep an eye on the aquarium. In addition, they will do some daily chores, and save me the time of stopping out there every week or two to work on the aquarium. I think it's a win-win situation. I hope to make a little extra money with this new aquarium as well :) Always a good thing!

Well, off to bed with my tired bones... I'm still getting over a bit of a sore throat, and with all the activities (work) of the last two weeks, I need to make rest a priority! As plenty of people keep telling me, even God only worked 6 days in a row, then rested on the 7th (which incidentally is Saturday/Sabbath day, not Sunday - that is marked as a day of worship). Well, I tell them He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and then some - when I am financially secure, I will cut back to six, or maybe even five days of work each week! I hope that happens soon...

listening to...

Carrie Underwood - Some Hearts (the album)

I received this cd recently, and have listened to it repeatedly! :) Nearly every song is great. On a side note, maybe I should be heartbroken... she just got engaged to a Dallas Cowboys quarterback (and apparently she is on my "list") :D

One last post tonight...

While deleting all my "bulk" messages, I found several from eHarmony.
Now it used to be classified as a Christian site, but I've heard they've changed their "marketing strategy".
Anyhow, I don't know how that applies to my receiving all their promotional stuff.

I delete them, since I think it's a scam. Take my money (or at least, lots of time) and get my hopes up, then I'll fall back down.

A couple years ago, I filled out a lengthy questionnaire on their website. It was a personality "test", so they could tell me who I was, what needed fixing, who was my best match, etc. I wasn't really interesting in being matched with anyone - I mainly filled it out to see how close they would come.

Well, it was fairly insightful, but then the other shoe dropped.
It ended with a button I was asked to click to see who my personality would predict I'd be "compatible" with.


Out of curiousity, I clicked it, and the message appeared "You are not compatible with any of our members".
It then explained a very very small percentage of people are not compatible with anyone. I wonder, wouldn't those people be compatible with each other then?
Anyway, so much for online matchmaking. I wish they would take me off their mailing list. I keep asking.

I'll keep asking God for her.

listening to...

Jars of Clay - Work
Avril Lavigne on MySpace

Update on my trip

I'm planning on going, though I still have doubts.

Money is almost all there, but it's still a factor.

I've heard arguments from both sides - "wait" & "this may be your only chance".

I've considered it all, and then some, and think I should do what I can to find things out, and clear the air. I need to stop waiting & go to the source to find out some answers.

I may never see her, but I have to try.
This is something that needs to be done for me to move on.

Too little time...

I just added "Duplex" to my loooooooooong list of movies to watch (I have 171 queued up as of... NOW), and as I rearranged the order I'd like to see them in, I realized it will take me years to watch them, and then there are the 9 movies not yet out on DVD, and the countless movies I'm sure I'll decide to watch...

I either need to become independently wealthy & sit home watching movies all day & night, or commute somewhere far enough away that I can watch movies on the way (I don't have a DVD player on the dashboard, but don't say I haven't considered it! There a sufficiently-loaded portable on sale at Kmart, but I don't really have a decent car I'd consider wiring it to). Dreams. What else do I have? :P

I have to make a decision.

It's getting quite obvious to me that I have to decide who my friends are, and what direction I want my life to take. I've wandered rather aimlessly for about 11.5 years now, and I've never decided what I want to do when I "grow up", I've never pursued any relationships, and I've yet to make something of myself.

A certain problem keeps rearing its head, and much as I try to avoid it, it always creeps back. It is beginning to look like an "all-or-nothing" situation, and I'm leaning towards "nothing". As I look back, it's something that in some ways has held me back. On the other hand, it's something that is a fairly large part of my life, and I'm hesitant to sever all ties, but it seems that is the only option left to me.

It makes me angry & miserable all at once to consider that, but it's something I have to decide. Soon. Otherwise it will continue to eat at me, and devour all my time, thoughts, and energy.

I wish I could time-travel. I'd go back & warn me not to make that decision so long ago. Or maybe, just maybe, the one before that.

No music in my head - only questions, confusion, and sadness. Nothing touches it.

I will go lose myself in a movie or two. Goodnight.